THE RIDICULE OF LAUGHTER

THE RIDICULE OF LAUGHTER
It is stuck in my throat
The chuckle that tickles everytime
When you stab and I see
When you talk and I hear
I cover it up with laughter
I don’t see any other way to show you I am strong
Except to ridicule you with my laughter
Don’t be fooled
I laugh because pain and I are enemies
I laugh because it is either that or I grin
I am ridiculing you with my laughter
Yes you…the one who knows me well enough to kill
The one I have never seen yet monitors me
The one who has touched my bosom without seeing me
I ridicule you with my laughter
I know you heard me howl
But it wasn’t for you
It was for HIM
Who sees me walling my soul with laughter
So, I am waiting for you again
As usual I will ridicule you with my laughter
Even when it hurts
I will laugh with tears in my eyes
I will never stop ridiculing you with laughter
I hope you hear it now
My laughter ridiculing you…
It never stops
Until you do…

Mylipsrsealed…I am still laughing!

HELLO SIR????

Hi everyone,

So, I go to visit a friend last week, and it turns out, he is in a new relationship. His story inspires me to write this letter.
What I have done with this letter, is to imagine what my friend would like to say to his future father in-law…I had so much fun giving life to these thoughts. I hope you love reading them too…

THE DAY I MET YOUR DAUGHTER

Dear Sir,
I am not sure if I should call you daddy since I am not married to your daughter yet. I would address you as sir till…gawd knows.
Sir, I know you have been searching for me. I am sure you know I have been avoiding you too. Your daughter tells me how ‘kind’ you are to all the men that have ever dated her. Well, as much as I love an act of kindness, I think it would be best if you extend the kindness through your daughter to me.
However, I think you need to know that meeting your daughter was a complete accident.
Sir, you see, that day, I was on my way to Halima’s house. By the way, Halima is the girl I dated before your daughter, to be honest, we were more like friends with benefits. I know this doesn’t help my reputation with you but I just wanted to be open with you sir. Since, your daughter has been very open to me…no pun intended.

So. I am on my way out when Deji, my friend pays me an unplanned visit. He invites me to chill with him, and the girl he likes who lives on the street opposite mine. I agree, and it turns out your daugther is my next door neighbour…
Sir, I did not realise you were the man that everyone called ‘the dictator.’ How come you never let your daughters out? They are so wonderfully made yet you hide them. Well, as your future son in-law, I plan to parade your daughter everywhere. My friends must get ‘lust’ just looking at her. Anyway, so Deji takes me to the next street, and an angel opens the gate.
The rest is history because I never looked back since then, so, unless you plan to take oxygen away from me, I am not leaving your daughter.
I am not sure I will end up marrying her because I am not God. However, I hope we spend the rest our lives together. I am in love with your daughter, and I am willing to be friends with you sir.

I usually drink beer at the sports bar down the street on thursdays. Your daughter says you don’t drink but I know better. I am asking you out on a date sir. Would you drink with me next week thursday? I would have invited you this week but I am taking your daughter instead. I am trying to teach her the difference between “small stout” and “big stout.” It is a tutorial she must attend with me, so our relationship can flourish.

Sir, I hope you will be available next week?
I am awaiting your response. If you will be available, please leave a cap at the gate of my house. If you won’t be available, please leave a cutlass at your gate.
Thank you for reading.
Yours sincerely,
Your future son
in-law? aka
the boy you want to
Kill…
Mylipsrsealed…

Small stout- beer
Big stout- beer

WHO SAT AND WATCHED…

Hi all,

I am a weird person…I know, I don’t celebrate holidays on the actual holiday date, I don’t believe valentine is about sleeping with all the available people. I definitely will not hug you because you bought me a pair of Christian Louboutin…a simple thank you should do…

So, I know I am weird. In this weird spirit that I am always in, I have decided to highlight a certain topic…there is a day for this topic everywhere in the world. However, I don’t think celebration is for a single day…it is everyday.

For example, On my birthday, some friends did not give birthday presents, and they thought I would fume and beef them…no…I simply informed them that they could give me another day. Some took the hint, and gave me my presents two days later. Others thought they were smart and they skillfully avoided me, hoping I would forget…hmmm…I remember o!

So, this poem is for all the weirdos like me that have something to celebrate everyday…

WHO SAT AND WATCHED…

I felt your eyes
I felt your breathe
I heard your fear
I saw your faithful doubt
Oh you bearer of seeds
I saw it all
The pain
The joy
The relief
The anger
While you sat and watched

The voice shook
Yet remained strong
The hands trembled
Yet remained steady
The eyes watered
Yet it stayed clear
Oh you bearer of seeds
I saw it all
The pain
The joy
The relief
The anger
While you sat and watched

Oh now…don’t be scared
I saw your weakness
And it warmed my heart
I know you love
Yet I fail to see
So you bearer of seeds
Don’t be scared
You slept and prayed
While I snored away
Oh you bearer of seeds
I saw it all
The pain
The joy
The relief
The anger
While you sat and watched

My lips are sealed
Yet they move in gratitude
To HIM who shielded
To you who fed
To them who cared
To those who laughed
To all who watched
Oh you bearer of seeds
I saw it all
The pain
The joy
The relief
The anger
While you sat and watched

Oh you bearer of seeds
I saw it all
The pain
The joy
The relief
The anger
While you sat and watched
And for this
I thank you….

Mylipsrsealed…as always

P.S. To the one I celebrate right now…

LETS GET NEKKID!!!

Hi everyone,

Woke up to this from a friend…

PERSONAL BRANDING: OUR NAKEDNESS
Don’t be surprised you’re getting this mail. I also cringed at the idea of sending you same mail. But why?
 
This meditation came, just as am in the toilet; remember Achimedes, that great scientist was in the bath tub when the principle of floatation came to his mind, Newton was under a tree when gravity was unraveled to him. Now am in the toilet. I have even forgotten myself here. Thinking and typing on my bb.
 
What about OUR nakedness? Oh i mean no weird tingy, peeps could always misunderstand you, just like they do to Rihanna. Rihanna – showing her nakedness all over the places, a ritual of unraveling one’s vulnerability in the face of haters to free one’s soul from all burden of depression(who’s the hater? Chris Brown?). Rihanna got it…whether right or wrong!
 
There’s something about personal branding – it’s just your nakedness. You are just exposing either strength of yours or your weaknesses. The challenge is not crafting or living the brand – it is living with the brand. How well Rihanna will sustain her poise, swag and weird exposure (after her heart-break) is gonna determine the success of her personality branding. Imagine if Charly Boy, after some criticism, ran back to home town and came out dressing in French suit with bow tie…. Imagine if Denrele has succumbed to pressure from colleagues and teachers at Unilag and shave his hair…
 
How does personal branding mean your nakedness? Obama has always turned over his sleeves, even as he addresses the nation. This is symbolic of Obama’s dream – a world where not only America is free but all peoples of the world are free. Obama’s got swag, yea! Swag is symbolic of freedom – of mind, of spirit. I don’t expect such president to detest gay or abortion. Freedom is liberal and that’s Obama. He must live up to the folded sleeves!
 
When you show me your nakedness, I see you beyond all other covering, I see the real you. When you put up a personality brand, I believe I see the real you. Remember your personality and the hook of that personality is iconic of a message – you must live up to it. A brand is a promise. In the face of criticism or any other challenge, your personality must be your personality. Have not said it isn’t ok to change for better – but there is some stuff that should be consistent about you.
 
Is personality brand real or fake…hmmm. Really, it’s a conscious effort, calculated attempts at creating specific perception. A chic I met at Grandeur recently was sashaying intentionally – oh that day! Same way any chic would chuckle like a girl anyday. Just mentioning these as illustrations; personality brand is more than just an attention-caller attitude or swag…hian!
 
So, should all of us go naked? Yes! Better we let people know who we are. Better we carve out a brand for our personality. That way we can create impression needed, we can make more impacts without going a mile more.
 
These days am cautious of anything branding; perhaps I understand I have to sell myself to prospects first before selling my wares. Now, I am going naked! By the time I was done in the toilet I had resolved to start using my name in full. I am Olufemi – not Femi. I will insist you call me Olufemi. Thanks for reading.
 
Olufemi Babalogbon

Hislipsrsealed….

SPECIAL RESPONSE TO THE L-I-A-R

Hi everyone,

This is a comment I got on my last post…TO THE L-I-A-R…it is amazing how spirited this reader is!!!

Please read and let me know what you think…you might be next!!!!

TO THE L-I-A-R

A reader says…

‎​I think dis is an ingenious way of letting out ur frustrations frm ur previous relationships.buh trust me,evry wman gat their own bruises. Dat’s wat mks dem wmen and nt girls. D world aint fair so don’t expect dt u gonna meet some alright guy who works in chevron and he’d be urs jst becos u claim u Luv him…since wen has dt been enuf not 4 a man 2 tune 2 anoda channel wen he actually has a DSTv wit 100 channels…serusly,if dat part of u dt mks u swept off ur feet cos d guy’s got a great job and could pay ur bills is still taking d better of u…Lies are not so far frm u. Men will always be men.ask our mums,dey wud tell u.
Am actually refering 2 all d ladies dt will read dis story…@mylipsrsealed”since it’s actually 4 dem.

Mylipsrsealed!!!!

TO THE L-I-A-R

Hi everyone,

‘Long time, no read’ I have been extremely busy. The free time I have, I spend reading peoples blogs. It is very nice to support other writers, I love getting to know their thoughts through their writings.

Anyway, I am back with the second gift to another girlfriend’s ex. It took me a while to write this because I kept asking myself why? Why do I even bother to share these stories? At a point during every project, you question yourself again on the purpose of the project.

Well, this blook I am working on is my own way of reaching out to young girls, women and the female population with the aim of empowering them.

I am an ambassador for empowering women, girls alike all over the world…I hope someone from united nations/women affairs in Nigeria is reading this. I better get a call soon…*laughs*

By the way, I found out from twitter that I have well grounded writers reading my blog…thank God!!! I am truly humbled!

So…enjoy this prose-poem to the L-I-A-R…

Xoxo

L-I-A-R…

He said I love you
While fondling another
He said I need you
While poking another
He said you are the one
While looking into another’s eyes
He said we are meant for one another
Yet he spent the night in the arms of the girl that lives in Ikeja
He said I won’t make you cry
Yet all I see on your face are dry patches of tears
He said you don’t need your friends..you have me
Why am I the one listening to your familiar story?
He gave you a ring
Yet you saw the same ring on another’s finger

I don’t get it
Why didn’t you see right through him?
If you needed my extra eyes, you should have asked
Although I am sure the blind could see through him
Yet, you couldn’t!
With your 20-20 vision…
You saw the L and R in L-I-A-R
LOVING and ROMANTIC
Why didn’t you pay attention to the I and A
IRRESPONSIBLE and ARROGANT
He never did anything right
He always spoke as if he owned Chevron
When he only works there!!!
Oops!! I let out a secret…
Anyway, at least it is the TRUTH not a LIE…

I am glad you are done
At least I hope he doesn’t lie his way into your heart again..
I know you will meet others
Some…better liars
Others…honest liars…
I pray you pick none
Till the right one comes along!!!!

Mylipsrsealed…

My ameborism continues…

Ikeja- a place in Lagos Nigeria
Chevron- an oil company
Ameborism- the art of meddling

THE BUTTOCKS AND THE DRUM…

Hi everyone,

It is such a beautiful evening. I love when the weather is so somnolent. It gives me an opportunity to daydream…there is no power supply, and for the first time in forever, I actually don’t mind. This weather calms me, I almost feel like I can fly! *laughs*

I got the inspiration to write this poem three hours ago! I immediately started typing furiously on my phone. I am sure some of us who write understand the rush you get when a new idea pops in your head…it can be likened to the feelings you experience when you fall in love for the first time…I guess…

Anyway, I hope you get the same feeling as you read this!!!

Enjoy!

THE BUTTOCKS AND THE DRUM

What is it?
I ask you
Why do they love to follow a load of fat around?
I heard the iya ilu drum sound so furiously
At the tick tack movement of her buttocks
She swayed
He beat faster
She shook
He died slowly
She didn’t need to dance
All she did was roll
She rolled
He beat faster
She rolled faster
He beat his hardest
She didn’t dance
No, all she did was move the enticing fat
The behind she knew they would follow…

The drum refused to stop…
She kept shaking
At a point, it looked like convulsion of the buttocks…
She shook as if a demon was in her
The dundun drum spoke love words to her sumptuous buttocks
It said what the drummer lacked courage to say…
The drum professed love to her buttocks
Her buttocks coyishly replied..

All of a sudden
She stopped
I heard the drum grumble…
As if her buttocks heard..
They began to move again
The drum came alive
This time with a different beat
The buttocks replied with a slower roll

All the while…I wondered why?
Why does a ‘pair’ of buttocks have the power to render a man and his drum senseless…

Mylipsrsealed…

P.S. To the African men who love ‘the buttocks’…