I DO…do I?

I must have urinated on myself again because my husband keeps looking at me like he looks at the senior wife whenever she smells funny. I really don’t know when I urinate anymore, my lady part is still healing from the cuts they made on it last year. The senior wife cut me on my bridal night. My husband’s parts were too large for me so she cut me open to accommodate him. I thought he would wait for me to heal before meeting with me. He did not, I remember crying so hard and then I lost consciousness for a while. When I woke up, he was still at it. Grunting like a pig. I heard him scream Allah’s name several times. I would have laughed if I wasn’t so numb, and hurt.

My husband is a funny man, he keeps telling the senior wife not to corrupt me with her stories yet he stares at all the girls that walk past our shed in the evenings, he licks his lips as if he is drinking kuunu, and murmurs words I can tell are unholy whenever he sees them. Anytime, he stares at the girls, I stare at him. He doesn’t like it. He keeps telling me to look elsewhere. I obey. I must obey. He is my lord and master. I usually stare at my husband because I don’t have anything else to look at in our house. He is so ugly and old that I wonder if Allah made him or he came out from the ground. He has tribal marks everywhere even his male parts.
The senior wife is always cleaning and cursing so I don’t look at her. I don’t want her cursing at me.

I must have urinated again. I really wish my sister would come to visit. She would bring some of her underwear for me. I know they are preparing for her wedding. I miss her. I am three years older than her. She is only ten but she acts like she is my age. She is so mature. She told me to accept my fate the night papa told me I was going to marry his friend. She held me while I cried. She wove my hair and sang to me. My sister is my hero. I don’t know why papa did not let her marry my husband so we would be together. I think the man that is marrying her is a big man. He works with the government. I hope my husband would let me attend the wedding.

I need to see the healer, I am not sure what is wrong with me. I keep urinating without knowing it. My left breast is producing milk every time, and I can’t stomach food. I would tell my husband tomorrow night when he visits me. I hope he listens. It is almost as If he doesn’t see me. If he doesn’t listen, I would tell the senior wife. One of them would listen…I am sure.

Mylipsrsealed…

P.S. Only monsters would marry children. Are you a monster?

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Advertisements

HEAL…

Breath….
Slowly….
Heal…
Fast…
Mother Earth…
Heal….
Fast….

Mylipsrsealed…

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.